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Notes To Heaven started almost two years ago as a concept that I wasn’t sure would work, but I knew I wanted to have access to for my own needs and self-expression. I wrote My First Note in January of 2012 and set-up an area for others to Leave Your Own Notes and thought others would follow suit… It didn’t happen that way.
Ultimately, my writing took another direction, my thoughts, parenting/family and relationships. And as I worked to shove square-peg content into a round hole concept, it finally became clear I had to separate the two and took the opportunity to try something different–that concept has had it’s own evolution, but that’s another story for another blog.
Ok, yes, I’ve decided to add to the noise. The noise about the now infamous nipple on TIME magazine’s cover which I swore I would not write a post on, but then decided I had to when I saw Jason Biggs parody on twitter. Here’s why…
Asking for what we want is primal. And most of us have been practicing it for many years. As babies, we asked our parents to fill our needs and depending on how well or how receptive they were to them, thats probably how adept we are at asking for what we want today.
Then there’s asking for what we deserve. This is a profoundly different thing because we have to have a clear understanding of what that is, then be able to articulate it with courage, conviction and in a way that the recipient will be able to metabolize. Lots of times, I find myself jumping ahead… Trying to articulate that which I have not fully developed my own thinking around. Someone said to me recently that we often call a person making demands petty… When what they are really being is specific. They have likely applied some rigor to understanding what it is they deserve and can specify what that means to them. That’s the opposite of petty… it’s actually quite substantive and important.
Tomorrow we are having a birthday party for my littlest one. My baby. Although his birthday isn’t officially until Monday, this party is one of the “primary” celebrations we will have for him. See there are a few different kinds of parties. There are “school parties”–these happen at school, there are “family parties”–just family, and there are “kid parties”–kid only celebrations. Then there is the Mack-daddy party, the kid-family mash-up. That’s what we are doing tomorrow. Now you may think that based on how I’m talking about my little boy he must be a tiny tyke… Well you’d be wrong, in one way… ok in a major way. But I wouldn’t totally disagree either.
I’ve got about two or three posts in various stages of completion. This makes me feel very unbalanced and unorganized– a physical manifestation of how I am being pulled between many different places, themes, needs and all of them need a voice, none of them have my complete attention for long enough… Many would call this a luxury problem and they would probably be right on some level.
Adolescence has struck our home. And since we have two, the chances are lightening will strike twice. I’m new to this stage of motherhood and since I was the first of my friends to have kids and some of my buds have decided not to have them as of yet, aside from a kind ear and the fact that we went through adolescence there isn’t much advice based on experience in my close circle yet. I know what I know from growing up a female, and although I don’t want to discount that, my own childhood is a bit fraught ( I’m going to leave it at that) so I’m trying to be conscious of NOT projecting my experience on her.
Last night as I was tucking Sean into bed, he asked me to tell him a story that had “Papa K” in it. Even though he’s never met you he’s fascinated by stories about you–maybe because he carries your name as his middle name or because he’s always told how much he looks just like you or because he has to wear glasses like you did (he even tried your old ones on).
Like today, we were in a cab and he wanted to know about when you tried to do stand-up comedy and what were some of your jokes.